College Admissions and the Crystal Ball: what leads to success?
After years of experience, these are the behaviors I see in successful students and parents during the college application process.
Each year students and parents ask me certain questions to which I respond “Hold on, let me go get my crystal ball.” I am not being sassy, I just mean that there is no way of predicting an answer to their question. Those questions usually deal with “What are my chances for admission, and do you think I will be admitted?” Those questions have caused me to reflect on why some students end up with more options for their college choices than others. I decided to write a list of the qualities of the students that I have observed over the years who have managed to navigate college admissions with success. Here are my thoughts on what makes a successful applicant followed by what makes a successful parent.
Snapshot of a Successful College Applicant
Takes ownership of the process by making sure that they are the ones who initiate any contact with a particular school.
Can speak with certainty about why they are applying to a particular school. At the same time, avoids any obsession with college rankings.
Practices stating their opinions as well as giving feedback about the process and what they want to achieve. Avoids comparisons with others and shows a true investment in the college application process.
Keeps track of their calendar and takes responsibility for attending meetings.
Keeps track of communication from their high school advisor/counselor. Is mindful of important deadlines created by their school.
Responds to emails in a timely manner.
Looks for ways to demonstrate readiness for college, shows confidence in their choices, resilience, compassion, and perseverance. Remembers that they should stop thinking of the admissions process as a contest of grades and scores
Thinks about who will write a strong letter of recommendation for them. Letters of rec have become a significant factor in college admissions, and a good recommendation showcases your character and compliments your story. Help your recommenders help you by giving them the time/direction/info they need to do their best job. Provide important context as to why you are asking them to write a letter for you.
Looks for opportunities to connect with a school, as they use cookies to track engagement. Most colleges also have a CRM (customer relationship management tools) and can see what emails you’ve opened and which ones you didn’t. If you miss a deadline and say, “I didn’t receive/see that email,” it’s not going to hold any weight when they see that you received it and opened it. Take virtual tours, connect with college reps and fill out interest forms on college websites.
Focuses on authenticity. Rather than asking “What do I need to get in?” asks instead “Who has what I want?”
Snapshot of a Successful Parent of a College Applicant
Actively encourages their student to take ownership of the college application process.
Never mentions a specific program or college. Gives feedback that supports the student’s voice. College selection is based on many factors, and “top ten” lists of schools or programs do not reflect reality and are often paid endorsements. A successful parent does not support the notion that the harder a college is to get in, the better it must be.
Avoids statements that inherently communicate a lack of trust in the student’s ability to craft a strong application. Students need to experiment, fail and deal with disappointment. The parents that recognize these important steps will provide essential messaging to their student. Reminds the student that what makes them happy counts and that students should stop thinking of the admissions process as a contest of grades and scores.
Communicates with the college counselor about issues that may be adding stress to the student’s application progress.
Never compares a student’s choices to a sibling, a neighbor, or something they “heard” from a friend or colleague. College applications are all about personal choices, and mentioning someone else’s experience can trivialize the student’s point of view.
Remembers that the No. 1 reason selective colleges turn down most applicants is simple -- they run out of room before running out of great applicants. Selection decisions are arbitrary and not based on the suitability of the applicant. Successful parents remember that although their student will have done everything right, they may not get the decision they had hoped for. Parents must help to manage expectations, especially in a world where waitlists play a numbers game that benefits what the colleges need, not whether their student deserves a “seat at the table.”
Does not focus on standardized testing and remembers that most colleges accepted test takers and non-takers in about the same portion that they were in the applicant pool.
Is mindful of the role a personal statement plays in the application as a whole. It is not supposed to "reflect their child as a person" (which is often code for "tell them everything important about yourself."). Instead, it is supposed to illustrate one or more positive characteristics. While most of the application reflects what the student has done, the personal statement helps share who they are.
Never rewrites an essay. Parents can weigh in on clarity, but admissions readers will know if the essay isn’t in the student’s voice.
Helps to discuss strategies for staying on task and ways to relieve stress from the student’s calendar.
If you want the secret to college admission, here it is: it is a deeply personal experience of articulating who you are, what you want, and why. Brennan Barnard